today she online... she change pic... but her personal msg didn't change... i was trying not to bother about it since my exam coming soon and i trying to concentrate. but somehow she keep on poping on the msn... unable to resist myself, i keep on look on her msn... click and close for many times... i don't what am i doing... i feel so confuse... my heart felt uneasy... she online for quite a long time... till i unable to bear it, i went to friendster to look her profile and 'his' profile... as i expected..... those thing again... what i see make me feel unhappy... sad... i not sure what i should do... but i know i unable to focus anymore... my mind is empty all of sudden...

after a few hour... i decided to go out to have a walk... i been doing this for many times for each time whenever she pop up in my head when i doing my assignment... the sadness is unbearable... i walk like a nobody... no spirit... as if a body without a soul... why..... why till now things still like this... why..... when i chat with my friend in msn 2day... she said that my msg fill with the feeling of sadness and loneliness... i not sure how should i reply her... because what she said might be true or might be wrong... because even myself not sure if i really have those kind of feeling with me all the time.

exam coming soon... i having alot of stress... i wish her encouragement, her support but i know i won't get it no matter what... it's been so many time i online but she never once talk to me... not even once.... i know why she online... what the purpose... and for who as well... not that i never taste that kind of situation before... i look at the monitor as i going to tears soon...

Perform some magic, let us meet.
Two are crossed unwitthingly.
Look at me, and begin a smile,
Pretend unnoticed, true feeling,
Suddenly the two fall in love.

i wonder, this 5 sentence, to me is wat? to her is wat? why i still keep it in my heart... did she keep it? i don't think so.......... my heart feel so pain and cold tonight...