another few hour one year will be pass... again i waste one year on someone who abandon me... i care her when she in great sadness... but what she done for me when i in great sadness... yeah, she did something... she the one who cause the great sadness for me... she happy with ronnie... she won't be happy with me... nobody will like a rubbish... all her smile in the pic... all the blog she write about him... haha... kenneth... face the fact... you being abandon AGAIN!!!!! she used you again... you are nothing...

kenneth in 2010 again walk to find the place for his own death... walk his life for someone that never ever will care him again... for her kenneth been walk the road that he never wish for it... kenneth walk just like a zombie.. no lilfe, no destination........

another 20 minute will be christmas... but the feeling is different from last year... what was it? yeah... that time i wasn't alone.. someone was chatting with me for the whole night... but now... that person leave me again for someone else... i don't want care and don't want know... but sometime i just can't stop the feeling... the feeling of keep knowing... the more i know the more pain i will get...

this year i will spend a lonely christmas again... does she know how i'm feeling now? of course not... she wouldn't even bother a nobody like me... yeah!!! she got her own happiness... while me, i got my own loneliness...

all those wound i get from her... all those wound i get from work.. i keep asking myself why? selfish? choose the best one? being betray? greed? i don't really know... what i know is the happiness i been chasing for so many years has been gone... just not long ago... the same time as now but it was one year ago, i thought the happiness i'm waiting has finally shine on me... but who know that was only a fake light... fake hope and fake word given by someone that i always believe.... in the end i being left behind... left alone........

merry christmas kenneth... even though some of them say happy christmas to me... but deep down my heart it still as cold as the snow... pain like two knife stab on it... what am i still waiting? am i a guy who wait the one i'm love? or am i a guy who wait someone that love me? or am i a guy looking for a place to die... that's all........