today during my rest time i didn't went to sleep... because she online... she online in her facebook... i don't know what should i do... i just stare at the computer at that time... i keep see what she doing... she if she write anything... see if she write any blog... and see if she find me... but she didn't... i ask myself have she read the letter and the present i send to her... then why didn't she reply me? why didn't she talk me... i don't know what should i do... i keep look at it until she offline...

i was thinking did she chat with ronnie? did she think of him? i don't know why ... maybe i jealous.. maybe i selfish... i admit... i admit i am... feel so naive... after all happen... i still hope she nice to me... she come back to me... but... will that day come? i ask myself if one day she in trouble like the lastime, will i care about her? i know i will... i never leave her behind no matter what... because i love her deep down my heart... i waiting for her even now... even know it's impossible...knowing miracle will never happen... i just feel so regret that i never back during that time... i should never stay here...

sometime i just wish suddenly she appear infront of me... hope she care about me... i hope to hug her like lastime... and this time i will never let her go anymore... i need her sholder... to shear my tears.... there is once i think if one day i meet her, and we able to be together again... will i feel happy and hold her hand... no... i won't... because i want to hug her and cry as much as i want... because i feel so suffer for the time i wait for her... at the same time i feel that all my suffer is pay off.... because she back by my side... but now... .i don't think such thing will happen again...

in her blog she said she will not leave ronnie behind... this sentence she said to me once... but... now... i being left behind and she say the same sentence to someone else... the diff is that she really dind't leave him... she leave me behind.... did she leave me behind? i do'nt even know... i only know i feel lonely again... she didn't call me or sms me... i wait and wait and wait... just like 3 years ago... feel hopeless... i thought we can together again but she threw me back to the same situation again... i don't know why... what is real and what is fake? can anyone tell me? what i did wrong?

i not sure that being with her is right or wrong but one thing i sure that i never regret being with her... because i really love her.. she the only one i love most... i know i wo'nt love anyone else as much as her..... i really hope she still care about me... and one day she will back by myside... and i hope soon...

yee ling, i really sad... where are you again? you say you will never leave by myside... you will always by my side no matter happy or sad..... why you leave me again...