recently even thuogh it doesn't seem alot of thing happen but i feel alot of thing happen to me... happy, sad, hope, disappointed, tears, stress, worry, joy, care, and relief... all this feeling can be come out in just one month. in my life, i know that i'm not the most pity one. i should be glad and happy of what i have. i have some trustful friend that i able to trust. kim san, kar hong, lay ming, jensen, and suan cheng that help me in the past. all of them help me alot. especially kar hong and kim san and lay ming. sometime they may have some misunderstand and diff opinion but we stil good fren that care each other... most important, yee ling.... 1st knowing she sad lost someone important to her make me sad... at that time i having my own trouble but don't know why i wanted to cheer her and help her... maybe becoz all this time i still care about her... it's true tat in this two years we never talk before... never meet each other and alot more... but reecntly, we slowly becoming same as in the past... talk to each other... find a time talk to each other... say our problem and everything that happen around us... share it... cry when we want... i miss those feeling...

knowing i got alot of ppl care me... sometime i feel that i made them disappointed a lot... i think if i always being so negative in all of them eventually not that good for both me and them... i can't be like that always. it's true that human will sad eventually but we can't everyday or always sad... i think if is other fren i think they already not talk to me anymore... since i always say my sad thing..... but now, i think i should atleast try to change a bit. do what i can... even it fail then i just have to stand up and do it again.

now slowly, my relationship with yee ling getting better... however, it's not the time that i should say to be together but we can still care each other and miss each other... but i know one day i will say what i should to her... as long as we both wait patiently... she have to get of her past... while i have to change my bad habit of being hopeless all the time... i may be clumsy alot but i know i can do it after a time... i only need luck and ppl that willing give me chance...

2moro the day i look for job again... outside is cold... it might very hard to bear the cold outside... but i don't wan give up... i must find it... keep find... even if really did all my best but in the end i still can't get a job i think i won't regret and i won't think that i was actually useless of not getting a job... better than now... when i think back the time i look for job i feel that i didn't look hard enough... there are some shop i didn't went in try to ask... now, i don't care anymore... what job i also will take... as long as they give me a chance to learn... and i will learn and do my best to keep survive her... after 2 years i will go back malaysia... meet my family and fren... also the one i most wan meet is yee ling... i will back before my birthday come... hope that my birthday on 2010 i able to celebrate with yee ling... i don't need big party... able to be with her i already feel more than enough... since i don't like make it big party hahaha... kenneth, stop being like this... u may be clumsy but u not really stupid... sometime u able to think what other can't... just that u lazy and unable to stop some temptation... i can... yee ling come back talk to me is already a good luck... my luck is coming... slowly coming... i only need a have a bit of faith and hope now... alot of ppl in malaysia waiting for me... they hoping me back... becoz they really did miss me... i know they are my true fren... no matter is school fren, ns fren or college fren... i know who are my true fren...