yesterday suan cheng wan to return the money that i help him paid for his dinner bill but he said need to minus some of the ingredient that he bought few day ago. 1st i thought i paid him already but he say that was another bill... well, then he try to explaine to me, and said wasn't wanted to cheat. of course i know he wasn't wanted to cheat on me about it. maybe i forget about it or remember wrongly. well, i don't wish our friendship being ruin with just a few pound.

2day he gave me back 5 pound then i ask him why he dind't minus. he answer that maybe he remember wrong. hmm, maybe he just unhappy or something. i don't wan to simply guess about it. maybe yesterday i shuold keep quiet and gave him money. so without his notice, i put back another 1 pound 50 back to his deck. he won't notice coz i put it together with his other coin. i think just forget about it like this. sometime i know i will forget thing as well. and i'm the kind who won't remember thing that share with my fren. coz i do'nt mind and i know they won't cheat on me. however, it's past... just be it...

just now linda thought of giving back me the money that she own me... but she said to make it easy, suan cheng help her pay. and she own suan cheng... hmm, i wonder what the diff... maybe the diff is between debtor hahaha... but more or less, i begin to feel that ppl around me is getting far from me. it's normal... but this kind of distance is not about normal distance but about the friendship distance... i know out of all the 5 of us. i'm the worst in all of them. i don't have any basic knowledge such as economy, politic and others. what i know is play games. diff from them, i can consider as stupid as well... knowing and together with them is one of my lucky thing. i know there won't be many chance that we will spend time together.

sometime i don't know why i feel nowadays wat i did makes them getting far away from me. i wonder was it me or something else. i don't really bother much about it... i know in future i will be alone. that's what i feel about or that is what i predict.

sometime i look back all the blog that i wrote. compare to the person i was in the past. i'm really a diff person from how i used to be. whenever i have the will on doing something, i will never give up. no matter in game, study or sport. but now, without even try i would just give it up. becoz i got the feeling of disppointed after fail. i don't want those kind of feeling. not anymore. slowly, i became like a slowpoke. lazy and slow. sometime i even do stupid without thinking. that's make me even stupid. even i feel that myself.

as i predict, everyone will got a job. i might be the last one who either got a job or jobless. watever... my birthday going to come another 2 month. but as usual. my wish is hope that my family and my friends and my love one will going have a better life compare to last year. my wish never changed. same as last year. i don't have anything i want. i don't hope for anything other than those i care about. someone tell me that those who doesn't selfish is stupid... everyone is selfish... hahaha, since that i'm already stupid, why not i make another one... hahaha... hope that all my friend will get a better job soon. hope suan cheng will got job soon too... and hope our visa will be approved... wish everyone have a nice and healthy life.